


Do Ask, Do Tell

by misura



Category: NCIS
Genre: Community: ncis_ficathon, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-20
Updated: 2011-09-20
Packaged: 2017-11-04 15:55:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/395567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"Oh, and one more thing," Tony said. "Don't tell Gibbs."</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do Ask, Do Tell

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: _Tony/Tim slash. Established relationship. Trying to hide their blossoming romance from Gibbs is becoming a daily trial. Humour, no angst. Any rating._

"Oh, and one more thing," Tony said. "Don't tell Gibbs."

Given that Tony's last dozen 'one more thing's had all involved movies McGee had no intention of watching, types of cars McGee had no intention of considering to buy and women McGee had no intention of giving a call to introduce himself to prior to inquiring after a recipe or the best way to give a back rub, foot massage or breakfast in bed (seriously?), this latest 'one more thing' sounded at least halfway reasonable, to say nothing of doable.

"Don't tell Gibbs what?"

"What do you _think_ , Timmy boy?"

McGee thought that people who said 'one more thing' should have the good manners to actually leave it at 'one more thing'. He also thought Tony's new nickname for him wasn't much of an improvement over the old one. "You mean about ... _this_? About us?"

"Give the man a prize." Tony turned around and retrieved his shirt. McGee tried to just relax and enjoy the view. It was a good view, really.

"Why not?"

Tony sniffed at his shirt and tossed it in the general direction of somewhere definitely not the laundry basket. "Just don't, that's all. Now - shower together or shower taking turns?"

 

Gibbs did not seem like someone who was homophobic. On the other hand, Tony _did_ seem like someone who was homophobic, and he was, in fact, homosexual himself - or at least bisexual - which didn't actually mean he _couldn't_ be a homophobe - in fact, it increased the odds of his being one, which was -

"McGee, if you could stop staring at DiNozzo's ass for one second?"

\- probably not something he should be considering too deeply during a briefing. "Sorry, boss. Won't happen again."

Tony waggled his eyebrows at him in a way that probably did _not_ mean he wanted sex later.

"Oh, and I wasn't," McGee added, possibly a bit too late but he was _trying to keep a secret from Gibbs_. "Staring at Tony's ass, that is." Inspiration struck. "Actually, it was Abby's ass I was staring at."

Tony made faces of abject horror at him. Gibbs looked ... not good.

"In a very respectful way, of course. Sir."

Gibbs looked slightly incredulous. Ziva turned to look at Tony, whose expression turned utterly neutral.

"Why, thank you, McGee." No two ways about it: he was going to have to kiss Abby later. Or buy her flowers - black roses, maybe, if he could find any on-line stores that offered 24-hour delivery.

"You want him, he's yours, Abs."

"Aye, aye, skipper. Come along, grasshopper. Let Auntie Abby show you the ropes."

 

"'Auntie Abby'? 'Grasshopper'?"

For all that the sex was great (and this was a _really bad_ time and place to compare sex with Tony to sex with Abby; seriously, he was _not_ going to go there), Tony didn't really 'get' the part of McGee that actually liked working with computers.

It wasn't that McGee demanded Tony to sign up for World of Warcraft or some such thing - he'd satisfied himself with creating an account, just in case, and every now and then, he'd log on as Tony and played the way he imagined Tony would play, which often seemed to get him killed but oh well.

Just ... a little bit of interest would have been nice, was all.

"McGee, you know I love you, right?"

O-kay. He hadn't seen that one coming. "You do?"

She mock-punched him. "Platonically, McGee. I love you _platonically_."

"That's ... great, Abby. Really. Thanks for telling me."

"You," Abby said, pointing at him, "are a horrible liar, McGee."

"I'm ... sorry?" What was he supposed to say to something like that? For that matter: what was he supposed to have lied _about_? Oh. _That_ , probably. "For what it's worth, I do think your ass is very ... nice?"

Abby groaned. " _Nice_ , McGee? You need to compliment a lady's ass and the adjective you pick is 'nice'? What is _wrong_ with you? Is it Tony? Is he _doing_ things to you?"

"Nothing's _wrong_ with me," McGee said firmly. "Tony's been a perfect ... gentleman." Well, no, not really, but that was rather the point, wasn't it? McGee didn't want Tony to hold doors for him; he wanted Tony to _lock_ them and then do unspeakable things to him. (Or, okay, 'blowjob' wasn't that unspeakable. Still, _not_ a word he was going to use around Abby, not even in his own head. So. 'Unspeakable things' it was.) 

"Oh." Abby looked ... sympathetic. "You guys still haven't even kissed? I mean, I know if I was dating someone who looked like Tony, I'd want to - you know. A lot."

So very much not a conversation McGee wanted to be having. "We're not - we're having sex. Great sex. Really. Everything's ... great."

Abby cocked her head. "And yet my spidey senses tell me there's something wrong."

McGee considered letting that one go. "Your 'spidey senses'?" Peter Parker had several tricks up his sleeves, but McGee didn't think sensing other people's feelings was one of them.

"They're like a sixth sense but, you know, for spiders," Abby said. "Which, obviously, I'm not and _will you just answer the question_ , McGee?"

McGee sighed. "He doesn't want me to tell Gibbs. About, you know, _us_."

"Well, duh," said Abby. "Of course not. Never _ever_ tell Gibbs."

It just didn't make any sense.

Still, if Abby said it, it had to be true. She probably knew Gibbs better than anyone, including Tony.

 

There was a supply closet on the second floor that nobody seemed to use, and Tony'd been _looking_ at him for the better part of an hour, and McGee deserved a break, really he did.

So of course they'd barely been in there for five minutes when somebody knocked on the door.

"Ignore it," Tony said. Half-naked, so fairly convincing, except that - well, they were really supposed to be at work, and maybe it was important, and -

"Oh good," Ziva said. "You weren't having sex yet."

"Sex? What's that?" Tony asked.

"Um, no. Hi, Ziva," McGee said.

"Sorry, absolutely no threesomes. It's McGee's back, you see. And just between us, I don't think his stamina's quite up to it, either. But thanks for offering."

Ziva looked amused. McGee looked at his watch and tried not to calculate the odds of seeing a bed (with Tony in it, by preference) within the next four hours. "Are you saying I ... intimidate you, Tony? Perhaps even ... unman you?"

"Uh, was there something you wanted?" McGee asked. Tony grinned. "To do with the case. Something you wanted that's got to do with the case?"

"Obviously not," Ziva said, stepping closer for a better look at either half-dressed Tony or - something other than a half-naked Tony. "Is that a broom? My, you _are_ kinky."

Tony smirked. "We thought it was yours, actually." Ziva arched an eyebrow. "To fly home on."

"Well, interesting as this conversation may be, Gibbs is waiting. I suggest you make it quick."

"I can do that."

"Your specialty, I'm sure."

 

By some miracle, it was only ten by the time they got back to McGee's apartment. 

"It just doesn't make any sense."

The question was going to keep him awake, McGee just knew it. And Tony _snored_. And then refused to admit it the morning after.

"I know," Tony said. "I mean, someone like me with someone like you?"

McGee frowned. He was smart, polite and an all-around nice guy. Tony was - well, okay, he wasn't an idiot. He wasn't particularly nice, though. Good-looking, yes, and probably too aware of it.

"Still, that's life," Tony went on. "Funny old thing."

"I was talking about Gibbs," McGee said. "Really, Tony, I think he'd be okay with it."

Tony said nothing.

"I mean, he's hard but fair, right? That's Gibbs." Not nearly as hard as he was fair, McGee thought. "Hard but fair."

Tony started snoring.

McGee sighed and wondered what on-line store might be selling high-quality earplugs.

 

The thing was, McGee told himself after one shared shower and three cups of coffee, Tony wasn't the boss of him. He could _ask_ McGee not to do something, he could make requests and suggestions and proposals, but in the end, as in any healthy relationship, they were equals. Partners.

He still felt nervous, walking up to Gibbs's desk and waiting for Gibbs to look up and notice him.

"Something you need, McGee?"

Tony looked up. Ziva looked like she was casually looking elsewhere.

"I just ... I'm with Tony. In a relationship. We're in a relationship."

Gibbs looked like McGee was wasting time that could have been spent doing something useful. "Your point, McGee?"

"I ... " The _point_? "I just wanted to let you know. You're not ... angry?"

Tony made a sound that somewhat resembled a coughing fit, but probably wasn't one.

"Given that it's been going on for three weeks now, what do _you_ think, McGee?"

"You're ... not angry. And I'm an idiot."

Gibbs smiled faintly. "For getting involved with DiNozzo? Probably. Still, that's not my call to make."

" _Boss_!"


End file.
